Recently, Maria Wood had the pleasure of doing a presentation at the Alden Elementary School’s Girls Night Out. The topic was “Be True to Yourself. Be P.R.O.U.D,” – a direct reflection of the principles we strive to instill in our students in our summer camps as well as in our fall and spring weekly classes. This is a recap of the presentation.
P.R.O.U.D.
Posture
Your physical presence speaks volumes about you before you ever open your mouth. So pay attention to your posture. Keep your chin up, eyes focused on where your going and your surroundings (not on your iphone – no walking and texting please!). Show people that you respect who you are by the proud way in which you stand. Chances are, they will automatically respect you, too!
Havard Professor Amy Cuddy, in one of the most watched Ted Talks, speaks to the science of how your body language shapes who you are. It’s one of my favorite Ted Talks! Please watch with your sons and daughters. And it’s only 20 minutes long 🙂
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
Resilience
The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
Life is hard sometimes. As parents we cannot always be there to soften the blow of our child feeling excluded in social situations, made fun of, failure to make Lacrosse team, etc. Having raised three of my own children, I can say with certainty that many times my feelings were hurt for them more often than perhaps their feelings were actually hurt. Watching your child go through difficult transitions and social situations is heart breaking. But they have to learn skills on how to deal, recover and move on.
This article in American Psychological Association is very helpful. Read their ten tips and you will see that almost all of them are reflected in the curriculum and activities we provide in Fashion Focus classes.
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx
Ownership Of Who You Are
Confidence is not given, it’s earned. You cannot make your child confident, but you can help them understand who they are so they begin to develop a strong sense of self. Talk to them often about their strengths, their personality, hobbies that bring them joy, ways to spend time volunteering, etc.
In the article below from Very Well Family, there is solid advice on building self-esteem in tweens, but the last tip is perhaps the most important one of all and why moms are their daughters ultimate role model:
“Tweens learn to have healthy self-esteem by watching adults around them demonstrate healthy self-esteem. Therefore, consider how frequently you make belittling comments about yourself like “I’m fat” or “I’ll never amount to anything.” As much as you may tell your child that she’s wonderful and can do anything, she’s learning more by your actions than by your words. Therefore, working to raise your own self-esteem can directly benefit your child. This is, of course, a long process in itself. In the meantime, though, you can concentrate on catching and decreasing your negative self-comments. Not only will you feel better, but your tween probably will, too!”
https://www.verywellfamily.com/building-self-esteem-in-tweens-3288355
Unafraid
Lets face it, even as adults we know that having the courage to stand up for what you believe in is hard. Being brave enough to try something new is difficult. So how can we help our children be brave if we struggle with it, too? Here is a great article on “How To Teach Your Kids to Brave”
https://www.heysigmund.com/building-courage-in-kids/
I especially LOVE Tip 5: Be the example.
“Everything you do is gold in their eyes. Talk to them about the times you feel nervous, or the times you’ve said ‘no’ or ‘yes’, when everyone else was moving in the opposite direction. Talk to them about the times you’ve pushed through fear, exhaustion, sadness, anger, to do the thing that was right for you. Talk about your risky ideas, the times you thought differently, did differently, and the times you felt small, but did something big. Let them feel that the brave in you, is in them too.”
Determined (adjective) – having made a firm decision and being resolved not to change it.
Be determined to:
- be a girl of substance with a virtuous personality: compassionate, empathetic, kind, responsible, honest, caring (The Book of Virtues by William J. Bennet is a great resource for this!! – https://www.amazon.com/Book-Virtues-William-J-Bennett/dp/0684835770
- not compare yourself to others – stay in your lane and look ahead for your goals and dreams. When you compare yourself to someone else’s looks, success, grades, etc. you take away the joy of your own accomplishments.
- to be a leader and not a follower.
- to be a role model!
Be true to yourself. Be PROUD!
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