Article by Maria Wood-Smith, Empowerment Coach and Owner & Founder of The Fearless Focus Program in Pembroke – Written for Kingston Living Magazine.
My name is Maria Wood-Smith, owner and founder of The Fearless Focus Program (formerly Fashion Focus Program) in Pembroke, MA.
Through my own struggles with low self esteem and self-confidence, I learned to build myself up with very specific and effective strategies and tools, and they have become the strong foundation of Fearless Focus classes and curriculum for 23 years now. I would like to share my insights on self-confidence building with you.
- The Earlier the Better: Helping your child understand and love who they are at a young age is so important in the development of self-love, self-acceptance and self-confidence. I have found boys and girls are much more open and willing to engage in this discovery process as early as first grade. They LOVE talking about themselves and sharing their strengths and what makes them happy about being them. It’s one of the first steps to helping them create a positive mindset. Creating this positive self awareness at a young age will help prepare them for the middle school years, which as we all know can be extremely challenging both socially and academically.
- Practice Makes Progress: Building confidence requires practice much like training for soccer, football, cheer, dance or any type of sport. Confidence isn’t a skill anyone is born with. And like any sport, some people have an easier time practicing it than others. You can get really good at it and feel like you’ve mastered it and still have a bad day. And even if you feel you’re as confident as you’ll ever be, without continued practice, your skills will deteriorate over time. I’ve witnessed first- hand the positive impact that consistency and practice have on a child’s self-worth and self-confidence. Many of my students stay with the program year after year and I have experienced the joy of watching them blossom from shy and introverted, to courageous and outgoing.
- The Impact of Self-Limiting Beliefs: “I’m not ready., I’m not good enough.”, “I’m not smart enough.” We’ve all done this at one time or another in our lives. As adults we tend to label ourselves and by holding onto these beliefs, we are in some way holding ourselves back from achieving our goals. But our children are particularly vulnerable to being labeled by others…stupid, nerd, jock, popular, shy, weird, annoying, etc. The continual practice of building self-confidence will help them reject these labels. It may still hurt to hear such negative comments, but with a strong sense of self, it is possible to move on from them.
- The Curse of Comparison: One of my favorite expressions when speaking on the subject of comparison is, “STAY IN YOUR LANE.” Speaking again in terms of confidence building as a sport, a coach will warn you about the danger of looking over your shoulder at what your competitor is doing. You lose focus on your goals and undermine your own power and potential. These days it feels nearly impossible to avoid the comparison game due to the insidious beast that is social media. However, it is possible with practice to step away from the madness. Children need to learn sooner rather than later that comparison is not a productive use of their energy or time.
- Learning Important Life Skills for a Lifetime: One of my biggest frustrations after all these years of coaching kids, teens and adults is the misconception that working on self-esteem, confidence and life skills shows weakness, failure or is something to be ashamed of. In fact, I think the opposite holds true. Doing the inside work is the hardest, most rewarding and courageous thing a person can ever do for themselves. By taking the time to fortify yourself, you are prioritizing your inner peace and happiness and there is absolutely nothing more important than that!
Please remind your children that they deserve to feel happy and peaceful, and with the right tools in their arsenal, they can achieve it. I will always be here for our community and our children. Please do not hesitate to reach out if I can help in any way.
Kindly,
Maria Wood-Smith
“Live life confidently and fearlessly!”
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